Insomnia
by hannahjap
Summary: I wrote this because I wanted to prove to myself I could write a scene set in a bedroom during the chain arc with absolutely no sex. Accomplished! XD Whistfulness on L's part not exactly 'sweet', but something like it. Oneshot.


The room was clouded with a heavy darkness which was invasive to anyone who tried to ignore it. It was still possible to make out the outlines of objects, but there was a sense that the night was shielding them from you; making sure you could never see everything. Luckily enough, there was only one person in the room left awake, and he was used to this situation. The things you would see at three in the morning are usually the things you see at two in the afternoon anyway. With the exception of one thing. The one who was lying opposite with no such qualms about darkness or sight; free from insomnia and sound asleep. Mentally, he traced the sleeping outline as best he could for the fortieth time; hoping that this would be the time that he could accept it and fall asleep. Again, he noticed the particular curve of his subject's chin and nose, and once again failed to prevent himself from asking the question 'is it fake?'. It could be. How does one separate the face of a liar from that of the honest? He certainly had not managed it yet, and so was drawn once again to following the movements of the boy's breathing; soft and subtle. Serene. He wondered if the boy would look so perfect in death, and felt slightly guilty that he had let the morbid thought cross his mind. Still, perhaps one day he would be forced to find out.

The boy moved in his slumber, rocking the chain that swung between them with a gentle clink. Even the tiniest sound caught his watcher's attention, and his eyes fell automatically to the shackles. Who was he chained to? Either an evil, sick minded murderer… or just a friend, someone who he had come to respect and appreciate. Maybe more. But no matter how he felt, it did not remove the shadow of doubt that loomed over his shoulder and whispered to him that he should take his chance now and get rid of the sleeper. Now. While he's vulnerable. You can get rid of him if you do it now! You know he's the one! Shaking the whispers away, he wondered uncomfortably if similar thoughts had crossed the other's mind. Did the same sense of desperation linger in his head? Was he planning anything equally as disloyal? He couldn't be sure. Was his friend of darkness or light? Light, naturally, but just in name..?

Accepting that sleep was not coming for him again tonight, he crept across the room to where Light lay. The chains made soft noises, reminding him to be careful so as not to let the other catch on. A brief pause as he slowly knelt down, so as to be at eye level with the boy. Although, of course, his were the only pair open. For a fleeting second, he thought that Light was going to wake up. He didn't. Instead, he continued to lie sleeping, his warm breath brushing his rival's face. Not that he minded; appreciating the little warmth he got from Light. Even if it was, ironically, literal. Light. He had never met anyone else with that name; perhaps his own 'L' should stand for Light. L. Indeed, that was all he had ever offered Light in return for his name. So it seemed that they were about even when it came to knowing the other. He almost wished Light would wake up now, so that he could ask him about himself. Anything, everything; what he liked to read, where he had gone as a child, whether he was k- He stopped himself. That didn't matter right now, because right now, right at this very second, he was just a sleeping figure opposite him who was completely innocent in his inebriation. _Completely. _It was only when he awoke and their little mind games started up again that his innocence might cease. Not that he could be sure he was ever guilty at all, really. One day. One day he'd know.

Light moved in his sleep again, his nose twitching and his lip curling. Perhaps he was dreaming. Of who, L wondered. Me..? Although it was much more likely to be something else, or someone else, as the odds of Light actually dreaming about him in a way that made him twitch pleasantly were about one percent. However, the odds of them ever ending up in this situation had surely been one percent once. Before Kira. So, L thought, perhaps I do owe him something, whoever he is. Maybe he is Light. Maybe he is not. I would not be here if he was not out there somewhere. And when Kira had given him, even by accident, so much, it seemed strange to be fighting so hard to dispose of him. But he had to. He knew that. He _wanted_ that. Unless… it would be hard if it was Light after all. The way he felt didn't change the fact that this was a murderer, perhaps, lying in front of him; one he had been given the task of finding. He just hoped it _wasn't_ the boy in front of him.

And now it was time for the awkward decision of going and trying to sleep again, or staying past an inexcusable point. He couldn't hang here all night. And yet, he wanted to. It didn't seem like a crime. Was it? The irony was not lost on him. It took several seconds before he decided to bury any feelings that may compromise him that were trying to scratch their way to the surface. It wasn't worth it.


End file.
